Traveling throughout Europe

WOW. so much has happened. I’ve been too exhausted to journal and haven’t really had a lot of internet access to update.

Tiana is sleeping and I’m in the hostel lobby. We went to Brussels for the day today and are staying in Cologne because the hostel was cheaper here with better ratings. It’s the shabbiest we’ve stayed in so far, but the other hostels were really luxurious compared to most hostels. Our last hostel was especially nice except that it was too big and someone stole our tomato.

In Barcelona I hung out with some people I met in my 2nd hostel (I had to stay in a diff hostel the 2nd night but it was nice except that I had to take a cold shower in the morning…). It was fun and I got a free dinner bc these 2 guys cooked too much pasta It rained almost the whole time I was there, and I didn’t really get to see a lot of the Barri Gothic or the castle but I saw the copper fish and beach area. And took pics of the Columbus column during the day. And revisited the Gaudi casas and took night pics etc. and saw the Casa Amatllo which I hadn’t looked at before.

From Barcelona I trained to Geneva which took about10 hours and then another 1 or so to Biel where my hostel was…and then back to Geneva and met up with Tae. Spent ver 5 euro on 4 pieces of Swiss chocolate…Tiana and I visited a ‘cell’ that was 7 billion times teh size of a real cell. it was purple. The hostel in Biel was GREAT.

The next day Tiana and I wnet to Dresden where we stayed 2 nights in a NICE hostel. Christmas markets were mostly closed…on Christmas day…well we saw a lot of pretty things at least and buildings and the city itself is just pretty. Kebaps for Christmas Eve dinner. there are kebap places EVERYWHERE in Europe…literally every street has one…menos in Sevilla but wow in Germany and Brussels they’re EVERYWHERE. German food is DELICIOUS and cheap – both a blessing and a curse depending on if you’re basing it on your wallet or stomach. Paris is going to suck on the wallet. Brussels was pretty pricey. AND THERE ARE PASTRY SHOPS EVERYWHERE. I’ve eaten at least 2 sweets every day since I started traveling – BAD. but they’re so tempting…

Spent 2 nights in Berlin. WONDERFUL Christmas markets. AMAZING I LOVE CHRISTMAS MARKETS.

Now we’re in Cologne and leave for paris in about 13 hours. We wanted to go early today, but there were no seats on the trains…so we’re getting there at night and so I’m going to be in a bit of a rush to see everything on New Years’ Eve since museums close early. Also, we don’t have a place to sleep on NYE and are planning on just staying up all night…everything was booked and what was left was too expensive or had poor ratings. STILL HAVEN’ SENT POSTCARDS…just have a LOT piled up…

Belgium chocolate, waffles, German christmas market waffle, bratwurst, currywurst, hot wine, lots of free samples of a lot of things, lots of pastries for breakfast, delicious fries from belgium…oh european christmas, how i will miss thee

won’t have internet after we get to paris until the 2nd of january and i’ll have to rush packing and souvenir shopping before i leave the evening of the 3rd of january…wish it wasn’t a sunday. it is also supposed to rain the day i leave sevilla, sadly, meaning i won’t be able to enjoy my city the last day and it rained the night before i left sevilla for bilbao. Sevilla is just so sad I am leaving, as am I.

Bilbao and Barcelona

Took a train from Bilbao to Barcelona today and here I am in my hostel. Got in around 2310.

I realized that I used to be good alone. Now when Im alone I get very lonely, especially when I see groups of friends or pairs of people, I just feel overwhelmed with loneliness. I cant really figure out the punctuation symbols on this keyboard…I think some of them just dont work.

I finally saw the Guggenheim. It was magnificent and impressive although I didnt care much for the exhibits. Frank Lloyd Wright exhibit was interesting and this sculpture exhibit by Richard S something and some photos by Sophie Calle and this video thing about a bankd robbery that occured during Nixons presidency, motivation similar to why John Q held up the hospital. Bilbao was a lot prettier and impressed me more than I had expected. Not too many tourists but then again its not tourist season either. And I hadnt really known what to expect. Everything is pretty expensive there…Food was delicious.

Tired will update later, hopefully in a few days, maybe not.

Going home alone

Sunday morning at about 4 AM I was biking home alone. About a block from my house I crossed the street on my bike and a creepy Moroccan looking man (sorry I’m racist) crossed the opposite way and said something to me. I ignored him and continued to bike to the bike station. I parked my bike and when I turned around, HE WAS RIGHT THERE. Scared the shit out of me. I ignored him and tried to quickly walk away. He followed me across 2 streets and started to offer me 50 euros, then 100 euros. Freaked out I pulled out my phone to call Ashley. She answered and I turned around and didn’t see him. Got home safe.

Oh, by the way I was totally, scantily clad like a prostitute  in my jeans, coat and scarf, and flat brown boots.

Another time I had a guy follow me TO THE GATE OF MY APT. That was no bueno tampoco. Why do I have all these creepy experiences with creepy men.

Well, not all men are creeps, but the creeps are the rememberable ones I guess. But all men want some action.

Day 2 of finals week

Took 2 naps yesterday, but still fell asleep around 00:30 exhausted. Woke up on and off trying to study, felt too groggy, the way I imagine it would feel if I had a hangover (I’ve never had one so I don’t know how it feels). Finally around 7:30 I take a shower. Trying to study; eat breakfast. Receive a text a bit before 9. Unsure of how to respond. Need to study, but blogging instead. Feeling extremely sleepy and tired, probably will fall asleep during exam. I hate school. One hour before I need to leave for my exam.

Took my exam. Didn’t really know what I was writing, finished early. Hung out with Ashley in one of the cafeterias. Came home and ate lunch. Called about seeing my knee specialist and took a nap. Went to clinic, got X-ray taken, found out something is wrong with my meniscus, but couldn’t understand enough to know what. I think they want me to return, who knows. Wish I was here longer so I could get treatment here because it’d be paid for here. Came home and took another nap. Skyped with mom. Should be studying. Blogging instead. Almost midnight. I think I might be getting sick again…for the third time this semester…

Why am I so weak, irresponsible, and just failing at life in Spain?

Supposed to go on a date on Thursday. Last time failed. Who knows about this time. I don’t have any faith.

NO

It’s really been less than 2 weeks since I last wrote? Really??? SO.MUCH. has happened.

I really am a different person after this semester. It has changed my life in so.many.ways.

But really I’m only a third of a different person, because I’ve finally done everything I’ve always wanted to do. I just went a lot further than I ever imagined, resulting in some regrets, but overall I am satisfied.

SevillaBarcelonaPragueFrankfurtGironaSevilla
SevillaBergamoMilanFlorenceRomeMilanBergamoSevillaMadrid

10 cities in 2 weekends. 6 airports. 4 countries.  3 train stations. 2 bus stations. 2 nights in airports 10 days away from my home away from home. Yeah. Definitely a lot has happened.

I made and found many new friends during my travels as well.

Life is crazy. I am crazy. Crazy in love. With Europe. I’m desperate to stay here.

I have 8 days left in Sevilla, 6 consecutive, not including today and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I can leave here with the thought that I may never return.

I titled the entry ‘NO’ because I don’t want to go home, but the main reason I’m writing this entry is to vaguely talk about talking about my experience.

In the beginning I didn’t tell anybody anything. And then I told one person and another, but only in bits and pieces. I was scared of being judged.  I was worried about worrying. I didn’t think anyone would understand, and even now I don’t think people really understand. But it’s really great to be able to tell your friends things, even things you’d be ashamed to tell anybody else. It’s relieving, but sometimes I do worry that I’ve talked too much to too many people. It’s not that I don’t trust anyone I’ve told, but maybe I need to keep some things to myself or just one or two other people. Anyways.

One thing I did not expect to happen before coming to Spain was to really fall for someone. And then I did. I don’t know what to do.

Exam every day this week. JOY. Bilbao on Saturday. real JOY.

i come back from prague

and i’m going to italy

and all i can do is write 2 back to back entries on how much i just want to stay here. in sevilla. just here. with my family. with my friends. with life. i just want to stay here. almost don’t want to go to italy. because i have less time here then. but everyone else will be in italy. so reunion in italy quizás. oh ibcp. oh sevilla.

i don’t know what to wear tonight!!! i wish i had flat black boots.

this place they call Spain

Must I leave this place?  This place I’ve grown to love despite the frustrations and inability to understand. Although staying would change as well. Just a little bit longer.

So many things I never imagined would ever happen. Too much fun, you could say.

Date tomorrow…er today…maybe…if his driving thing works out and my knee doesn’t go berserk.

Italy with Sue this weekend. Lots of people from my program will be there too so maybe we can meet up with them.

Still sick, but better, need rest, but have papers to write; procrastination is for IDIOTS and I am and idiot.

Too much money spent, too much fried foods, oils, and fats, too many boys, too much alcohol, not enough studying, too much but not enough fun, have never felt this hungry so many times, too much love, too much beauty, too much shopping, tan mucho mucho mucho cosas…

Memories of biking in the late hours of the night, or the early hours of the morning, hours spent by the river, hours spent on my laptop in my room wasting away, running through a beautiful park, falling off my bike multiple times, drunkenly wandering and biking through Sevilla, laughing laughing laughin so hard with friends, desperation and clinging for things to stay this way, time I spent missing and wasting time, free drinks, meeting new people, hanging out, flamenco, sevillano, dancing, running, parks, gardens, sleeping on a playground, motorcycle, adventure, recklessness, carefulness. life.

The culture shock going home is going to be immense. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle it.

Food

Salmorejo: tomato, french bread soaked in olive oil

ensaladilla rusa: eggs carrots, peas, boiled potatoes, mayonnaise, pickled pepper?

tortilla de espana: fried potato pieces, microwaved eggs?

paella: garlic, then onion, diced tomato and green pepper, aceite, chicken, seafood, white wine, paella sauce (can be made with shrimp?), salt, peas, carrots

stupidity

in the beginning it was a mixture of curiosity and stupidity. and then it was a way to remove the pain. and now some of it was a mistake and something to regret. but nothing to be done now.

time and writing

I really want to write an entry right now, but I really don’t have time, so I am just going to write a pseudo entry about how much I want to write right now.

Yesterday was a good night. I’ve been having many good nights recently, despite wanting and not being able to see someone. But yesterday was a very good night. I love friends.

I had the weirdest dream while I slept.

The Guggenheim Museum Bilbao is AMAZING. Breath-taking. Well, information about it; I haven’t seen it yet, BUT I WILL IN ONE MONTH.

Really? That’s all that’s left? ONE MONTH of Spain? I’m crying inside right now, and soon the tears will be visible.

Please allow me to return to this country, this city, this family I have here.